Saturday, December 30, 2006
Tortured - Confessions of a "J" Personality
I have been literally tortured by some of the "popular" theological debates lately. You know... homosexuality, God's purpose for men and women (which segways into the ordination of women), social justice vs personal relationship as central points of living a life of faith. These converstations have made their way into my life through introduction to a pastor that is on the "conservative" side of these issues and in-laws that are on the "liberal" side of these issues. (I use the terms conservative and liberal for lack of better vocabulary- since this is a fairly new conversation for me) I have visserated on conversations that I've had with my in-laws, yearning for logical or scriptural arguements that would make sense. But I only find myself trying to defend the other side of the conversation. (this is probably due to the nature of my relationship with my in-laws) All of this is confusing at a very deep level. My desire to have the answers I want right now are hard to temper with faith that God reveals things in his own time. And I struggle to keep my eyes on Jesus and not on having the intellect necessary to navigate these hard questions. I am also discouraged by the daunting task of learning truth without beleiving that gives me the right to judge others. It's my heart's desire to trust Jesus to help me navigate these converstations is a way that is pleasing to him. I want to know I can love and be with others where they are at, but still be faithful to a truth that ultimately leads us all to Jesus. As hard as it is, I beleive that Jesus laid these things on my heart so that he could show me something about himself. These hard converstaions are good opportunities for learning how to take things that weigh me down to the cross - at least that's what I'm finding.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Happy.....Holidays?
On the front page of today's Seattle Times is a story about the removal of all the Christmas trees from SeaTac airport because a rabbi asked for a menorah to be installed next to the biggest tree. Instead of putting a menorah or other cultural symbols for holidays that happen around this time of year - they took down all the tree. I guess it can be expensive to support every one's traditions.
This incident reminds my husband of a conversation his boss had with a former office manager maybe 6 or 7 years ago. They were deciding how to decorate the office for the holidays and were talking about getting a tree for the lobby. The office manager was concerned about some of the other traditions not being represented said to my husband's boss in a soft tone, "Do you think Rob will be offended?" Not really understanding what she meant my husband's boss asked, "Why would Rob be offended?" In an even softer voice she replied, "Because he's a...Jesuit." It's true Rob IS a Jesuit. Went to Jesuit schools all his life. Too bad she didn't know that Jesuits are not Jewish.
Saturday, December 9, 2006
Those Crazy Benedictines
I love the Benedictines. No, I haven't read the entire The Rule of Benedict, but from what I've seen these guys are on the right track. I don't know if you've seen the TV show on The Learning Channel called The Monastary. It takes place at The Monastary of Christ in the Desert which is in New Mexico. They have a great web site. You can shop there, read the homily for the week, and the abbot also writes a weekly letter. I actually bought some Christmas gifts from their store (hopefully they will arrive in time for Christmas - monks aren't really known for their speed - part of the reason I like 'em).
Basically, they love Jesus and they have a great desire to share their faith and way of life with others. They live simple lives with very little intellectual, emotional, and material clutter. And they do have nuns and sisters that live in their own Benedictine communities. I've thought for some time now that if my husband were to leave this earth before me that I would go live with the Benedictines. That's a long way off, I hope. Until then I'll keep up with some of the communities via internet.
Peace be with you.
Basically, they love Jesus and they have a great desire to share their faith and way of life with others. They live simple lives with very little intellectual, emotional, and material clutter. And they do have nuns and sisters that live in their own Benedictine communities. I've thought for some time now that if my husband were to leave this earth before me that I would go live with the Benedictines. That's a long way off, I hope. Until then I'll keep up with some of the communities via internet.
Peace be with you.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Shots
If you have kids you know how hard it can be taking your little baby to get his or her first couple rounds of shots.
I just want to take this opportunity to say THANK YOU JESUS for helping my son deal so well with this experience. Somehow, and really the only explanation is 'by the grace of God', my husband and I have been blessed with a truely amazing child. The first round of shots (5 in all) I nursed him and everytime he got a shot he turned bright red and wailed in pain, but I finished nursing him and he was right as rain - and a little tired. This time (his second round of shots - 4 in all) by the time they got to the fourth shot he barely cried. We even went to the store right afterward - he was talking to himself and playing with his toys while we rolled around the store, and right now he's sleeping. There is certain nothing we've done to deserve this easy baby. So, today I'm grateful for the gift of being The Bugg's mom. Thanks againg, Jesus.
I just want to take this opportunity to say THANK YOU JESUS for helping my son deal so well with this experience. Somehow, and really the only explanation is 'by the grace of God', my husband and I have been blessed with a truely amazing child. The first round of shots (5 in all) I nursed him and everytime he got a shot he turned bright red and wailed in pain, but I finished nursing him and he was right as rain - and a little tired. This time (his second round of shots - 4 in all) by the time they got to the fourth shot he barely cried. We even went to the store right afterward - he was talking to himself and playing with his toys while we rolled around the store, and right now he's sleeping. There is certain nothing we've done to deserve this easy baby. So, today I'm grateful for the gift of being The Bugg's mom. Thanks againg, Jesus.
This Little Blog of Mine
After reflecting on my last entry I'm convicted to really press into God right now. To seek Him and His will and not try to make up a plan for my life that I think God would approve of. I'm also trying to be authentically me. I can try to wax elequent on this blog but that's really not me. I'm interested in the truth and I'm interested in sharing what I know, but I'm a silly girl. I like the exercise of releasing myself from taking myself and my life so seriously. I like to make up silly songs to sing to my son. Sometimes I make up words to songs that already exist because I can't remember them all. I write the way I speak (and my grammar sucks). Maybe folks aren't interested in my familial tone or silly exploits and that's just fine by me. I do feel obedient to share what I'm learning and what's going on in my life. And to publicly rejoice the fruits of God's love for me.
Christ is Risen!
He is Risen Indeed!
Christ is Risen!
He is Risen Indeed!
Sunday, December 3, 2006
COVETING OR SEEKING GOD'S KINGDOM?
As I was looking for on-line devotionals I found this outline of a teaching on COVETING OR SEEKING GOD'S KINGDOM. As usual, when talking about coveting they were talking about money and material things. Is it still coveting when you are jealous about the opportunities someone has. Or is jealousy different than coveting? Coveting is very "chirstianese", that's the term I like to use for words that are commonly used umong Christians that aren't usually used with the general public as much. Let's see if we can find out the difference if any between jealousy and coveting.
Exodus 20:17 (New International Version)
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
The "Free Dictionary" by Farlex defines coveting as:
1. To feel blameworthy desire for (that which is another's). See Synonyms at envy.
2. To wish for longingly. See Synonyms at desire
It defines jealousy as:
1. jealousy - a feeling of jealous envy (especially of a rival)
2. jealousy - zealous vigilance; "cherish their official political freedom with fierce jealousy"-Paul Blanshard
OK so jealouy and coveting are very closely related, tied together by envy. Coveting just implies a sense of responsibility for possessing the envy.
Envy is defined as:
1. a. A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.
b. The object of such feeling: Their new pool made them the envy of their neighbors.
2. Obsolete Malevolence.
I feel pretty clear on what envy is, I think most of us were probably understand the idea envy. So, here's my thought. We often talk, in Christian circles, about coveting material things, but we don't often talk about coveting non-material things that people have. I think I am currently struggling with coveting the opportunities and gifts of one of my friends.
Why don't we talk more about this in church? Because we all have been given good gifts and sometimes we get confused about gifts that other have. I think we all know in our heads that we are grateful and appreciative of the gifts that God gives other people. But sometimes the world's economy starts to creep in and we start see people get attention from leaders because of the gifts they have. We want that attention as well and so we figure we need those gifts to get it.
So, in my estimation, the minute we take our eyes off God for validation of our actions (or even our lives). We get confused.
Jesus, help me keep my eyes on you. It's hard right now. My time is so fragmented and I'm having to learn a whole new way to be close to you. Quiet meditaion does not come readily to a new mom. Forgive my envious heart. Help me see your will for my life. Amen.
Romans 13:9 (New International Version)
The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Proverbs 14:30 (New International Version)
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Ecclesiastes 4:4 (New International Version)
And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Matthew 7:20-23 (New International Version)
He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "
Exodus 20:17 (New International Version)
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
The "Free Dictionary" by Farlex defines coveting as:
1. To feel blameworthy desire for (that which is another's). See Synonyms at envy.
2. To wish for longingly. See Synonyms at desire
It defines jealousy as:
1. jealousy - a feeling of jealous envy (especially of a rival)
2. jealousy - zealous vigilance; "cherish their official political freedom with fierce jealousy"-Paul Blanshard
OK so jealouy and coveting are very closely related, tied together by envy. Coveting just implies a sense of responsibility for possessing the envy.
Envy is defined as:
1. a. A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.
b. The object of such feeling: Their new pool made them the envy of their neighbors.
2. Obsolete Malevolence.
I feel pretty clear on what envy is, I think most of us were probably understand the idea envy. So, here's my thought. We often talk, in Christian circles, about coveting material things, but we don't often talk about coveting non-material things that people have. I think I am currently struggling with coveting the opportunities and gifts of one of my friends.
Why don't we talk more about this in church? Because we all have been given good gifts and sometimes we get confused about gifts that other have. I think we all know in our heads that we are grateful and appreciative of the gifts that God gives other people. But sometimes the world's economy starts to creep in and we start see people get attention from leaders because of the gifts they have. We want that attention as well and so we figure we need those gifts to get it.
So, in my estimation, the minute we take our eyes off God for validation of our actions (or even our lives). We get confused.
Jesus, help me keep my eyes on you. It's hard right now. My time is so fragmented and I'm having to learn a whole new way to be close to you. Quiet meditaion does not come readily to a new mom. Forgive my envious heart. Help me see your will for my life. Amen.
Romans 13:9 (New International Version)
The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Proverbs 14:30 (New International Version)
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Ecclesiastes 4:4 (New International Version)
And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Matthew 7:20-23 (New International Version)
He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean.' "
Today My Son is 4 Months Old
Happy 4 Months, Bugg!
You are one of the greatest joys of my life. I still don't know how you got so cute - God sure did make something beautiful when he made you. I hope you continue to talk to me as you get older. I hope I don't put too much of my funk on you. I'm praying that Jesus protects you and keeps you close to Him, so that you can do great things for Jesus when you get bigger. I know you're going to be AMAZING, because you already are.
You are one of the greatest joys of my life. I still don't know how you got so cute - God sure did make something beautiful when he made you. I hope you continue to talk to me as you get older. I hope I don't put too much of my funk on you. I'm praying that Jesus protects you and keeps you close to Him, so that you can do great things for Jesus when you get bigger. I know you're going to be AMAZING, because you already are.
Boys and Their Toys
All of my husband's closest friends have purchased brand new cars in the last 6 months. One has an Escalada, one has a Crysler 300 and one has an Audi S4. We also drive a very nice used car, a BMW 325, it will probably be the nicest car we will have until the kids leave home and I'm enjoying a second career. I am amazed at these boys for spending this amount of money on a car. Sure, they've got the money, and technically so do we, we just choose to spend it differently.
The real issue for me here is the issue of appearances. Whether it's the house or the car or the clothes you wear - if you are honest with yourself - it's mostly about appearance. It's just another way to mask the brokenness that's a part of all of us.
It's hard for my husband to see his friends buys these beautiful peices of automotive art. But even as we talked about it today, he realizes we've made other choices. We choose to invest more in our home, more than some of his friends, and we choose to tithe. The amount we tithe could make it so we could easily afford a brand new luxury vehicle like his friends have, but committment to God is more important than our commitment to keep up with the Jones'. There are several other ways we could, and probably should, be spending our money that would be more pleasing to God. It's nice to know that we've made at least one good choice.
The real issue for me here is the issue of appearances. Whether it's the house or the car or the clothes you wear - if you are honest with yourself - it's mostly about appearance. It's just another way to mask the brokenness that's a part of all of us.
It's hard for my husband to see his friends buys these beautiful peices of automotive art. But even as we talked about it today, he realizes we've made other choices. We choose to invest more in our home, more than some of his friends, and we choose to tithe. The amount we tithe could make it so we could easily afford a brand new luxury vehicle like his friends have, but committment to God is more important than our commitment to keep up with the Jones'. There are several other ways we could, and probably should, be spending our money that would be more pleasing to God. It's nice to know that we've made at least one good choice.
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