Joel-isms

"More, again."

Joel used to say "more" instead of using "again" which was more appropriate most of the time. Now he just uses both words so that he covers all the bases.

"skole"

It's how Joel says "school" it's a mix between school and store.

"I craze. " **big smile**

This is how Joel says "I'm crazy but really cute. Right, Mama?" Usually said when he does something dangerously close to inappropriate.

"Cwose door."

Joel is a little bit obsessive about closing doors. Not sure if he really got the message every time we asked him to close a door that he left open OR if there is something deeper going on.

In our world there are a couple of exceptions to the close the door behind you rule. First of all, at Grandma & Grandpa's house if you close the door to porch (which is where a lot of the playing usually happens) you will be locked out. Gotta love the weird things that happen when you live in a 100 year old house. But this doesn't stop my son from being driven - even when repeated told not to - to close that door.

The second one is when he goes out the front door to play in the car in the drive-way. I like to keep that door open so I can hear him and anyone else that comes up the front walk while he's playing out there. But he's very insistent that this door should be closed, too.

Today when I dropped him off at pre-school. He said goodbye and gave me a kiss and then walked me to the door so that he could close the door behind me. At least he's polite.

"Der ya are!"

This is what Joel says when he finds something. Usually the statement will start out, "Where's truck?" then he'll say, "Oh, der ya are!" once he finds it. It's adorable.

It's September

Well, my oldest son started pre-school last week.

I tried to prepare for whatever was going to happen. He's just barely 3 and he's a bit of an introvert so I wanted to be prepared in case he wasn't ready for pre-school.

The first day was very interesting. Lots of crying, lots of clinging. Finally, the teacher said she was willing to hold him if we wanted to go. This was our first move in the dance of figuring out what the teachers were like while the teachers figure out what we are like. My husband and I were totally fine with letting the teacher hold our crying 3 year old. So, we left.

Turns out our son was probably not feeling very well. He ended up sleeping through most of his first day of preschool. The teachers called me around 11 (one hour before we were to pick him up) and told us he had fallen asleep in the middle of the room and they had him lying down in the "library". She gave us the option of coming to pick him up now or just wait until noon. We waited until noon since it was fine with the teachers. Sure enough, he was still asleep when we got there.

I'm still not sure if he was sick or if he was just majorly stressed out. He was tired most of the day but never really registered a fever.

That night we were trying to talk to him about school and he wanted to go back. We had to hold him off until the next morning which was hard when he kept going to the front door and asking to go to school to paint.

When I dropped him off for his second day at school he went over the painting easels and started painting. I said, "Mommy's going to go home now." and he said, "OK. Bye, bye."

WOW. What a change from the day before.

Ever since that day he has been excited to go to school and leaving him there has not been a problem.

I love school! I love that I can drop my son off with these people and he's happy to be there. I love than my life is a little simpler for 3 hours , 3 days a week. I love this school thing. God Bless school!

A Mother's Lessons on Circumcision

Can we talk about circumcision for a minute?

My husband felt very strongly when our first son was born than he be circumcised. In the rare case that you don't know me, we're not Jewish. I agreed to go along with his decision as long as he was willing to take the baby to get the procedure done. I couldn't handle the idea of my brand new baby being strapped to a table and cut.

After the procedure was done I had the task of caring for the baby while his body healed. If you are not familiar this does require keeping the area covered with patroleum jelly and making sure the skin is pushed back daily.

Let me put a few things in context for you. I'm the oldest of 5 girls. The male anatomy is not something I am very familiar with. (I sound like a real prude don't I.) I didn't have the advantage of watching my mother go through a similar experience.

So, when my husband starts to worry that my son's circumcision is not healing correctly I start to feel a huge responsibility for preserving my son's future ability to fit in with his peers. But the doctor did not agree with my husband and we moved on and everything was fine.

When my second son was born I had a much stronger opinion about having this procedure done. I really didn't see the purpose and I knew it meant more work for me in those first few weeks. In fact, I have described it as unnecessary violence. However, because we made the decision to do it for my older son, it seemed wrong to make a different decision with the second one.

Now, my younger son really is having some issues with his circumcision. Basically, the skin is growing back in the places where it was removed. Good grief!

At the risk of being just a little too graphic - living with all these penises is starting to get to me.

Now That I'm 35

This last birthday felt significant to me.

I feel older. And tired. The late night and early morning feedings don't help much. :)

It's been a rough year and things don't seem to be settling down yet.

Our parents are having significant health problems. We're in debt up to our eyeballs. We're all on anti-depressants. You know...the usual life stuff.

A few months ago I was really depressed. And I was struggling with what seemed like an overwhelming load of obligations. Turns out I have post-pardum depression.

Funny thing is, if it weren't for my two boys, my life would be void of so much beauty. I would miss out on watching my older son pretend his fishing hat is a cowboy hat. And I would be missing out on receiving that BEAMING smile from my six month old when I talk to him. Or the way my baby coos in my ear when I hold him close. Or the way my three year old says, "Hi, Mama!" in his purely unique and totaly cute way.

I spent most of my birthday with my kids (since it was Monday and my husband was at work) and we had a GREAT day. Of course, neither of my children really understand what birthdays are yet. We did a bunch of things I wanted to do. I think if I had really thought about it I would have asked for some time off from the kids for my birthday, but I didn't and I'm really glad for that.

The Season We're In

I've tried to write at least 3 different post in the last couple of months, but none of them got published.

Life is a little crazy right now.

My son was born on Christmas Day, at home, in a tub. It was INTENSE - that's the best word to describe it.

Being a full time mom of two is definately something that requires way more patience and energy that I ever thought possible.

Right now, both of my kids and I are in the midst of cold and flu season. Being sick (even if the cold doesn't knock you on your butt) and having two sick kids is really an experience I could not have understood until I was in the midst of it. It's a day to day way to live. And it's always so sad when the little babies are sick.

Last night my husband came home at 8pm after working all day and attending a meeting at church. I asked him to put the older boy to bed - since I was nursing the younger one - and after I was done nursing I went to bed. (I don't even think I kissed my husband good night)

Today as I dropped my older son off with my in-laws for their weekly play date my mother-in-law reminded me that Saturday is our anniversary. They graciously offered to watch the kids so we could celebrate. Needless to say I was a little embarassed to need my mother-in-law to remind me of that. I'm also not ready to leave my 2 month old (even for a couple of hours) with anyone else.

On Sunday both of the boys will be dedicated at church and we've invited a ton of people to come over and have lunch with us to celebrate this very important event. And after lunch my husband goes back to church for a church council meeting.

And that's just the way it is righ tnow.

On Saturday we may just send the older boy to the in-laws, order a pizza and watch an OnDemand movie to celebrate our 6 years together. That doesn't mean I don't adore my husband or love our marriage...that's just the season we're in.

12 Days Overdue - Update

Yesterday, I got out of the house for the first time in two days.

We successfully made it to the store and back in our newly acquired winter wonderland and as I was walking into the house (through the garage) I slipped and fell.

The baby is fine. But I was a little worse for wear. I managed to pull something in my groin that made it extremely hard to walk and at one point I could not lay down on my side (which is the only way I can lie down because of the big belly).

I called the midwife and she recommended some amazing homeopathic ointment (let me know if you need to know what it is...I HIGHLY recommend it for sports type injuries). But the heartbreaking news was that we would probably be rescheduling induction because of all the pain and lack of mobility due to this injury. We were hoping to try inducing today.

However, I am feeling ALOT better this morning. I'm hoping we can try to move forward with induction today - but we won't know until later this afternoon.

That's the latest update. I was pretty upset yesterday, but I'm feeling much more hopefully today.

10 Days Overdue

Well, my due date has come and gone...again.

I really thought I would handle it better this time around (IF it should happen). But I'm going a little bit bonkers here. I think I did fine until I hit 41 weeks. But every little thing that complicates my life (snow, a headache, a grumpy 2 year old, a grumpy husband) seems so huge to me right now.

I keep praying for Jesus to help me trust him. Since my first son was born right at 42 weeks (which for those of you counting would put me at Christmas Day this time around), I learned that I could birth a healthy baby naturally and not have any postpardum complications. In fact, I was so energized by NOT being pregnant I remember those first 6 months (before lack of sleeps really started to get to me) as some of the most joyful moments in my life.

Even as I write this my heart is calmed by the faithfulness God has shown me through childbirth.

Most often, I'm just tired of the kind of tired that comes from being pregnant. I have to say no to alot of activities with my 2 year old right now and that is SO hard...probably a sign of the things to come and probably not entirely a bad thing for my 2 year old...but it's still hard.

At this point in my last pregnancy, I was entering the hospital to be induced. The process of induction was 4 days long. This is not the path I want to take this time around. I am unconvinced that all the interventions I had last time did much good. But on Tuesday, if I still haven't had this baby, there will be some options we can try that don't require me to go to the hospital.

Pray for me!

Four Weeks To Go

That's right. As of today, I am four weeks from my due date. This baby boy is comming soon.

I'm not in a huge hurry. Four weeks sounds just fine with me. ( BUT I reserve the right to change my mind as the day gets closer)

My belly is big and I'm pretty emotional right now.

At church a couple of weeks ago, I was asked to acknowledge one of our members who would be moving to a new assisted living facility. As you might imagine he is limited by a wheelchair and sometimes he can be very hard to understand, but he had a few things he wanted to say so I handed him the mic. After he was done sharing, I looked at him and told him he was a great blessing to our church and that we would miss him. While I spoke those words he started crying. So, I started crying and made a bee line back to the podium to keep the service moving forward. My next line was a squeaky and tearful tearful, "Church, it's offering time!" Luckily, the congregation laughed with me and together we acknowledged the awkwardness of my attempt to move on in my emotional state. That gave me a few seconds to fan myself with a tissue and wonder if it was a good idea for me to be in front of the church anymore.

Popcicles in November

Maybe if we lived in the southern parts of the country this would not seem so strange. Maybe if I was a child it wouldn't seem strange.

But I'm a woman in her mid-thirties enjoying a popcicle and a warm jacket with her two year old out on the back patio in November.

No. Not 'Mom'. 'Dad'.

Lately, my son has been calling my husband, "Mom".

My son joyful greats my husband as he walks into the room with, "Hi, Mom!".

And my husband says, "No. Not 'Mom'. 'Dad'." My husband says these words firmly but not in an upset or stern manner.

I'm afraid it makes me smile every time I see this interaction.

What's funny is that my son was doing great with his "Hi, Dad!" and "Hi, Mom!" just a few weeks ago.

I guess that last business trip was just a little too long. :)

UPDATE: It seems that most adults are Mom right now. He has also used "Hi, Mom!" with my sister and one of my good friends as the happiest greeting he knows how to give. I think this makes my husband feel a little better.

A Sweet Moment

Yesterday I took my two year old to my midwife appointment. He was a little cautious in this new enviornment. When the midwife took my blood pressure he was worried it was hurting mommy. And then when the midwife was listening to the baby's heartbeat he was worried again that it was hurting mommy.

He even said "OUCH!" while the midwife was listening to the baby's heartbeat.

I responded by saying, "No, ouch, Baby."

"OUCH!" he said again with a furrowed brow.

"No, Baby. No ouch. Mommy is just fine." I replied again.

By the time the midwife was putting her equipment away my son had lifted up his shirt to show his belly and then asked, "More and more?"

Simple Summer Pleasures

Picking blackberries for my son to eat as we take our morning walk.

Trees hanging heavy with not quite ripe apples and pears.

Watching the grapes on the neighbors fence get a little bit bigger every day.

Playing at the park with friends.

Little boys with farmer tans.

"America's Most Powerful Religious Leader"...REALLY?

Has anyone see the cover of the new Newsweek?

I'm a bit torn about what to think about Rev. Warren these days. I'm not doubting the motives of his heart.

But does he really represent the American Evangelical movement as a whole?

And if that answer to the above question is YES, is that a good thing?

I'm also diappointed in our culture that can only acknowledge a movement based on the places (churches) that draw the most people. Aren't there alot of great things happening in small congregations around the country, as well?

Just a bunch of questions today.

Another Son

Today we had our ultrasound.

And we're having another boy! Is this the generation of boys or what!!??

This is my parent's 5th grandchild...all boys.

To tell you the truth, I couldn't be happier!

Even in the ultrasound, he seems to be a totally different child from the first one. Does that sound silly?

Anyways, I'm happy and grateful for God's amazing provision.

My Suggestions for a "Pick Me Up"

I know this song is a couple years old...but it still gets me going!

Enjoy!

Another Homegoing

Another member of our fellowship passed a few weeks ago and his homegoing was celebrated last Wednesday. Unfortunately, I was very ill and could not make the service. This man has another story of a hard, hard life. His body was beat up from war and drug abuse. And his passing was sudden and unexpected.

Yesterday, I heard some stories from the memorial service that remind me of why I love Jesus and the community He has placed me in.

I heard stories of men of God (my brothers) speaking to the adult children of the man who had passed in ways they had never heard their father spoken about before. They heard heartfelt stories of the servant who entered our fellowship only desiring to serve God and serving so many of us in the process.

The night of the service, in a hotel hot tub, two of this man's children were baptized - joining the family of faith that their father desperately hoped they would become a part of. The other two rededicated their live to Jesus.

Praise be to Him, from whom all good things come.

The Wierdest Hour of the Day

It's almost 5:30pm and I am expecting either my phone to ring or my front door to open. Just minutes ago I could have sworn my almost 2 year old was calling "Daddy! Daddy!" and I spontaneaously broke into a "Daddy Come Home" song.

My mom often tells of when we all waited for my dad to come home on week nights. According to ledgend, the Ramirez girls (all six of us including my mother) would, literally put our heads together and chant, "Daddy, come home. Daddy, come home. Daddy, come home." Usually this ritual would happen somewhere around the 20th time the question, "When's daddy going to be home?" was uttered.

For those of you who stay at home and await the arrival of your spouse, do you have a ritual you do with the kids to help them pass the time?

(Just to keep you up to date: my hubby called while I was composing this post.)

One Reaction to Blues Clues

The first time my husband saw a bit of Blues Clues he turned to me with a concerned look and asked, "Who is that mildly retarded man?"

My Favorite "More"

My son loves the word "more".

In his lexicon it is an overarticulated "moowr". The 'm' is long and so is the 'ow'. It sounds alot like "mower" with very little emphasis on the "-er". He works so hard each and every time to get this incredibly important word out of his mouth.

"More" means lots of things. Sometimes it mean "More yogurt, please." Sometime it means, "Bounce that ball again, Mommy." Sometimes it means, "Can I watch another video?"

But my favorite use of this important word comes out when his daddy gets home. After my husband changes his clothes and settles on the couch my son stands next to the couch and says, "MOOWR".

Usually, my son gets the response, "More what, son?"

And then my son extends his hand to his father and says again, "MOOWR."

"You want me to chase you?" my husband finally responds.

"Uh", my son grunts in affirmation. And the chase is on.

The Gift of a Midwife

In case you hadn't heard, I am pro-midwife.

Since we had lived in Seattle for only about 6 months before I got pregnant, I really didn't have many women to talk to about referrals for midwives. So, I got on-line. I found a couple of private practice midwives and one of them stood out to me, so I called.

Turns out she is a Christian. So she would pray for me at each and every pre-natal appointment. Around my 15th week of pregnancy I started to feel pretty good. I felt so good that I was bored. I told my midwife how I was feeling and the very next week I was attending the "Mom's Group" at her church. That's when my life in Seattle changed.

I was the only woman there that didn't have any kids. Really it was a play group, but since my midwife felt called to care for mother with kids younger than her own, she called it a "Mom's Group". And after a couple of awkward weeks of explaining that the only child I had was the one inside my belly I met some women that invited me to their weekly small group, which they called "parish groups". These were the first people in almost a year of living in Seattle that actually made an effort to get to know us.

During this time I also started providing childcare for my midwife. In hindsight, she was definitely trusting me with a lot after knowing me for only a short amount of time. Being able to take care of her kids also allowed me to get to know her better and we became good friends.

After my husband and I attended the parish group a couple of times we started attending Sunday worship. During the days we were in the hospital awaiting our son's birth the associate pastor called to check on us. After our son was born, women from this same church whom I had never met cooked and delivered dinners and gifts on a daily basis for the first week and a half of my son's life. One of my son's favorite blankets is one that was crocheted by one of the older members of the congregation that makes these blankets for the first born in each family in the church - a woman I have still never met. We never became members of this church, but they always treated us like family.

As I began anew the search for a midwife for my second pregnancy and delivery my needs are very different. The first time around my husband and I really needed a community to love us through this huge transition in our lives. God used our midwife to help provide that for us.

I'm excited to see what is in store of us this time, with new midwives with new gifts and wisdom to share.