The Nagging Question

Lately, one of the biggest questions in my life has been, ' Will I get pregnant again?'

I know I want more kids, I'm just not sure if I can or even should get pregnant again. Pregnancy was hard for me. I was not one of those glowing pregnant women. I got fat and dealt with my changing body very poorly.

My delivery experience was also pretty intense. I was 10 days overdue when I was induced and my induction was filled with stopping and starting contractions and just about every pain killer used in delivery - most of which didn't seem to do much at all. I did end up delivering without a c-section after 4 hours of pushing. The baby was 10 lbs 7 oz at birth and totally healthy. The pediatric nurse called him "Brutus". Those 4 days (a total of 6 in the hospital) seemed very short compared to the preceding 9 months of raging hormones and intense hunger cravings. I fully admit that I'm a wimp because so many women have had harder pregnancies than I did. I didn't have to work during my pregnancy and I never really had bad morning sickness. I did gain a lot of weight which depresses me even now as I look at the minimum of 10 lbs I need to lose still (ideally I should lose another 35). Let me mention here for the record that my husband was a ROCK STAR when I was pregnant - he was the picture of patient understanding that we all hope our husbands would be in this situation.

Yesterday for the first time since I got pregnant, I thought to myself, 'I think I could do that again.' So, I guess what I need to do is ask God what he thinks about all this and then do what he says. A large part of me still hopes we need to adopt, but I think I could deal if the answer is that we need to get pregnant again.