A Mother's Lessons on Circumcision

Can we talk about circumcision for a minute?

My husband felt very strongly when our first son was born than he be circumcised. In the rare case that you don't know me, we're not Jewish. I agreed to go along with his decision as long as he was willing to take the baby to get the procedure done. I couldn't handle the idea of my brand new baby being strapped to a table and cut.

After the procedure was done I had the task of caring for the baby while his body healed. If you are not familiar this does require keeping the area covered with patroleum jelly and making sure the skin is pushed back daily.

Let me put a few things in context for you. I'm the oldest of 5 girls. The male anatomy is not something I am very familiar with. (I sound like a real prude don't I.) I didn't have the advantage of watching my mother go through a similar experience.

So, when my husband starts to worry that my son's circumcision is not healing correctly I start to feel a huge responsibility for preserving my son's future ability to fit in with his peers. But the doctor did not agree with my husband and we moved on and everything was fine.

When my second son was born I had a much stronger opinion about having this procedure done. I really didn't see the purpose and I knew it meant more work for me in those first few weeks. In fact, I have described it as unnecessary violence. However, because we made the decision to do it for my older son, it seemed wrong to make a different decision with the second one.

Now, my younger son really is having some issues with his circumcision. Basically, the skin is growing back in the places where it was removed. Good grief!

At the risk of being just a little too graphic - living with all these penises is starting to get to me.

Now That I'm 35

This last birthday felt significant to me.

I feel older. And tired. The late night and early morning feedings don't help much. :)

It's been a rough year and things don't seem to be settling down yet.

Our parents are having significant health problems. We're in debt up to our eyeballs. We're all on anti-depressants. You know...the usual life stuff.

A few months ago I was really depressed. And I was struggling with what seemed like an overwhelming load of obligations. Turns out I have post-pardum depression.

Funny thing is, if it weren't for my two boys, my life would be void of so much beauty. I would miss out on watching my older son pretend his fishing hat is a cowboy hat. And I would be missing out on receiving that BEAMING smile from my six month old when I talk to him. Or the way my baby coos in my ear when I hold him close. Or the way my three year old says, "Hi, Mama!" in his purely unique and totaly cute way.

I spent most of my birthday with my kids (since it was Monday and my husband was at work) and we had a GREAT day. Of course, neither of my children really understand what birthdays are yet. We did a bunch of things I wanted to do. I think if I had really thought about it I would have asked for some time off from the kids for my birthday, but I didn't and I'm really glad for that.

The Season We're In

I've tried to write at least 3 different post in the last couple of months, but none of them got published.

Life is a little crazy right now.

My son was born on Christmas Day, at home, in a tub. It was INTENSE - that's the best word to describe it.

Being a full time mom of two is definately something that requires way more patience and energy that I ever thought possible.

Right now, both of my kids and I are in the midst of cold and flu season. Being sick (even if the cold doesn't knock you on your butt) and having two sick kids is really an experience I could not have understood until I was in the midst of it. It's a day to day way to live. And it's always so sad when the little babies are sick.

Last night my husband came home at 8pm after working all day and attending a meeting at church. I asked him to put the older boy to bed - since I was nursing the younger one - and after I was done nursing I went to bed. (I don't even think I kissed my husband good night)

Today as I dropped my older son off with my in-laws for their weekly play date my mother-in-law reminded me that Saturday is our anniversary. They graciously offered to watch the kids so we could celebrate. Needless to say I was a little embarassed to need my mother-in-law to remind me of that. I'm also not ready to leave my 2 month old (even for a couple of hours) with anyone else.

On Sunday both of the boys will be dedicated at church and we've invited a ton of people to come over and have lunch with us to celebrate this very important event. And after lunch my husband goes back to church for a church council meeting.

And that's just the way it is righ tnow.

On Saturday we may just send the older boy to the in-laws, order a pizza and watch an OnDemand movie to celebrate our 6 years together. That doesn't mean I don't adore my husband or love our marriage...that's just the season we're in.

12 Days Overdue - Update

Yesterday, I got out of the house for the first time in two days.

We successfully made it to the store and back in our newly acquired winter wonderland and as I was walking into the house (through the garage) I slipped and fell.

The baby is fine. But I was a little worse for wear. I managed to pull something in my groin that made it extremely hard to walk and at one point I could not lay down on my side (which is the only way I can lie down because of the big belly).

I called the midwife and she recommended some amazing homeopathic ointment (let me know if you need to know what it is...I HIGHLY recommend it for sports type injuries). But the heartbreaking news was that we would probably be rescheduling induction because of all the pain and lack of mobility due to this injury. We were hoping to try inducing today.

However, I am feeling ALOT better this morning. I'm hoping we can try to move forward with induction today - but we won't know until later this afternoon.

That's the latest update. I was pretty upset yesterday, but I'm feeling much more hopefully today.

10 Days Overdue

Well, my due date has come and gone...again.

I really thought I would handle it better this time around (IF it should happen). But I'm going a little bit bonkers here. I think I did fine until I hit 41 weeks. But every little thing that complicates my life (snow, a headache, a grumpy 2 year old, a grumpy husband) seems so huge to me right now.

I keep praying for Jesus to help me trust him. Since my first son was born right at 42 weeks (which for those of you counting would put me at Christmas Day this time around), I learned that I could birth a healthy baby naturally and not have any postpardum complications. In fact, I was so energized by NOT being pregnant I remember those first 6 months (before lack of sleeps really started to get to me) as some of the most joyful moments in my life.

Even as I write this my heart is calmed by the faithfulness God has shown me through childbirth.

Most often, I'm just tired of the kind of tired that comes from being pregnant. I have to say no to alot of activities with my 2 year old right now and that is SO hard...probably a sign of the things to come and probably not entirely a bad thing for my 2 year old...but it's still hard.

At this point in my last pregnancy, I was entering the hospital to be induced. The process of induction was 4 days long. This is not the path I want to take this time around. I am unconvinced that all the interventions I had last time did much good. But on Tuesday, if I still haven't had this baby, there will be some options we can try that don't require me to go to the hospital.

Pray for me!

Four Weeks To Go

That's right. As of today, I am four weeks from my due date. This baby boy is comming soon.

I'm not in a huge hurry. Four weeks sounds just fine with me. ( BUT I reserve the right to change my mind as the day gets closer)

My belly is big and I'm pretty emotional right now.

At church a couple of weeks ago, I was asked to acknowledge one of our members who would be moving to a new assisted living facility. As you might imagine he is limited by a wheelchair and sometimes he can be very hard to understand, but he had a few things he wanted to say so I handed him the mic. After he was done sharing, I looked at him and told him he was a great blessing to our church and that we would miss him. While I spoke those words he started crying. So, I started crying and made a bee line back to the podium to keep the service moving forward. My next line was a squeaky and tearful tearful, "Church, it's offering time!" Luckily, the congregation laughed with me and together we acknowledged the awkwardness of my attempt to move on in my emotional state. That gave me a few seconds to fan myself with a tissue and wonder if it was a good idea for me to be in front of the church anymore.

Popcicles in November

Maybe if we lived in the southern parts of the country this would not seem so strange. Maybe if I was a child it wouldn't seem strange.

But I'm a woman in her mid-thirties enjoying a popcicle and a warm jacket with her two year old out on the back patio in November.