Last night we left our one and a half year old with the grandparents so we could go to Seattle for an overnight trip. It was the first time he was without either of us overnight.
The trip was my husband's idea. Have I ever mentioned how smart my husband is? If not, let me mention right now...he's wicked smart!
This was our way of celebrating Valentines Day and it was really wonderful! We piggybacked a business opportunity Patrick had in Seattle and decided to stay in our favorite hotel. My husband made reservations at the fabulous restaurant in the hotel but we stayed in, ordered room service and watched a movie. If you know us, this is our idea of a GREAT time.
This morning we slept until we wanted to wake up (this is probably the second coolest things about a trip without the baby) walked to The Market and ate at our favorite French bakery then we walked up to Westlake Center and did a little shopping and alot of looking.
I've always affirmed the need for parents to have date nights and things of that sort. I am now a firm believer of the importance of parents having overnight trips to reconnect with their spouse and have some child free fun. So, if you are a parent and you haven't done this for a while, make some effort to make it happen. You'll thank me for it!
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, April 20, 2007
The Illusive Stride
I did a lot of running in my youth. I've had my splits timed more than I'd like to remember. I was never really good at running, but it was what I did all through High School. I ran long distance so I loved those times (and they weren't very often come to think of it) when I hit my stride. I define 'hitting your stride' as being able to hit your time goals and feeling great while doing it.
I walk these days. My body is really not designed to run but it is definitely made to walk. As I walked around the lake the other day I felt like I was just hitting my stride right after I had finished approximately 2 miles. I felt great! The sun was shining, my baby was not crying, and I was a mama about to finish her 3 mile walk around the lake.
Walking is also a great way to get some thinking done. "What does it mean to 'hit my stride' in other areas of my life?" I wondered during my walk.
Lately, 'stride' has been hard to come by in my life. Before I know it the circumstances have changed and I have to speed up or slow down and I'm 'off my stride'. Pregnancy is a great teacher when it comes to learning how to live a stride-less life.
Marriage can also be a great, discombobulating life force, something that often throws me off when I think I've hit my stride. In the last few weeks my husband and I seem to be running in circles. These are not ordinary - mutually exclusive circles - these circles require us to run into the other person, who is running in the opposite direction. Funny thing is, we can't even see the other person until we've collided. And we seem to do it over - and over - and over again. We've been the most ungraceful ever in our married life, as far as I can tell.
We found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband did not get the job he was seeking in our former home town. And unfortunately we never really dealt with what it meant to lose this opportunity. We never really morned the loss of an opportunity to move back home.
I had already make plans about how I was going to spend my time with all the free child care that we would have available to us back home. I was planning to have our extended family gather for Sunday supper at our house. I was planning on going back to school. I was planning on watching my nephew regularly so my sister could work child free a couple hours a week. I was praying about how God would use me in the church where my husband and I met. And I was excited about all these things. But, I had gotten ahead of myself and God. My husband had not been offered the job yet.
It was about a week after we found out that my husband didn't get that job that we collided. Since we missed the step of processing this loss there was alot of emotion that seemed to come out of no where. Mostly it took the form of anger - that stern unmoving kind of anger. Really only a couple of days ago did we finally break through the muddle of anger and frustration and finally get to a little understand and grace.
Maybe this is a preview of things to come...maybe God is preparing us for great changes...I don't really know. What I do know is that next time a disappointment of this magnitude comes along I hope we can allow eachother the space and grace to morn.
I walk these days. My body is really not designed to run but it is definitely made to walk. As I walked around the lake the other day I felt like I was just hitting my stride right after I had finished approximately 2 miles. I felt great! The sun was shining, my baby was not crying, and I was a mama about to finish her 3 mile walk around the lake.
Walking is also a great way to get some thinking done. "What does it mean to 'hit my stride' in other areas of my life?" I wondered during my walk.
Lately, 'stride' has been hard to come by in my life. Before I know it the circumstances have changed and I have to speed up or slow down and I'm 'off my stride'. Pregnancy is a great teacher when it comes to learning how to live a stride-less life.
Marriage can also be a great, discombobulating life force, something that often throws me off when I think I've hit my stride. In the last few weeks my husband and I seem to be running in circles. These are not ordinary - mutually exclusive circles - these circles require us to run into the other person, who is running in the opposite direction. Funny thing is, we can't even see the other person until we've collided. And we seem to do it over - and over - and over again. We've been the most ungraceful ever in our married life, as far as I can tell.
We found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband did not get the job he was seeking in our former home town. And unfortunately we never really dealt with what it meant to lose this opportunity. We never really morned the loss of an opportunity to move back home.
I had already make plans about how I was going to spend my time with all the free child care that we would have available to us back home. I was planning to have our extended family gather for Sunday supper at our house. I was planning on going back to school. I was planning on watching my nephew regularly so my sister could work child free a couple hours a week. I was praying about how God would use me in the church where my husband and I met. And I was excited about all these things. But, I had gotten ahead of myself and God. My husband had not been offered the job yet.
It was about a week after we found out that my husband didn't get that job that we collided. Since we missed the step of processing this loss there was alot of emotion that seemed to come out of no where. Mostly it took the form of anger - that stern unmoving kind of anger. Really only a couple of days ago did we finally break through the muddle of anger and frustration and finally get to a little understand and grace.
Maybe this is a preview of things to come...maybe God is preparing us for great changes...I don't really know. What I do know is that next time a disappointment of this magnitude comes along I hope we can allow eachother the space and grace to morn.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The Unit
Admittedly, I watch too much TV!
My husband and I often get hooked on a TV show and then we have to buy the whole season on DVD to watch them in succession. Really it's a form of gluttony.
My husband loves this show called "The Unit". It's about an elite army task force that does things that the government never admits really happens - all top secret stuff. My husband jokes with me by saying, "I think I'm going to join the army, so I can be in 'the unit'. " Since one of my husband's stock phrases is, "I have a delicate system." we both know that this is just his male fantasy running away with him.
One of the big issues on "The Unit" is the issue of secrecy. It's a security issue. None of the wives of these soldiers ever know where they are going, what they are doing, or when they will return. The wives DO know that they work in an elite super secret task force, but they have all been trained to say, "My husband is a clerk with the 303rd Logistical Unit." You cannot tell your mother, sister, children that your husband is the elite of the elite soldiers.
Last night I turned to my husband and said, "Baby, you could never be in 'the unit' because of me." He said,"You're right you can't keep a secret to save your life." It's true (for the most part). I have a bit of a warped sense about the importance of MOST information being kept from others - especially people I know love me and usually love the person who is trying to keep this information under wraps.
So, baby, I'm sorry that I've ruined your chances of becoming an elite fighting machine. Maybe we can find something else for you to dream about in your spare time.
My husband and I often get hooked on a TV show and then we have to buy the whole season on DVD to watch them in succession. Really it's a form of gluttony.
My husband loves this show called "The Unit". It's about an elite army task force that does things that the government never admits really happens - all top secret stuff. My husband jokes with me by saying, "I think I'm going to join the army, so I can be in 'the unit'. " Since one of my husband's stock phrases is, "I have a delicate system." we both know that this is just his male fantasy running away with him.
One of the big issues on "The Unit" is the issue of secrecy. It's a security issue. None of the wives of these soldiers ever know where they are going, what they are doing, or when they will return. The wives DO know that they work in an elite super secret task force, but they have all been trained to say, "My husband is a clerk with the 303rd Logistical Unit." You cannot tell your mother, sister, children that your husband is the elite of the elite soldiers.
Last night I turned to my husband and said, "Baby, you could never be in 'the unit' because of me." He said,"You're right you can't keep a secret to save your life." It's true (for the most part). I have a bit of a warped sense about the importance of MOST information being kept from others - especially people I know love me and usually love the person who is trying to keep this information under wraps.
So, baby, I'm sorry that I've ruined your chances of becoming an elite fighting machine. Maybe we can find something else for you to dream about in your spare time.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Surrender
Why is surrender so hard for me? The answer is probably because I'm human. Lately things with my husband have seemed so hard. We have a brand new baby and we find it easier and easier not to connect. This makes me very sad AND it makes me feel very alone. Last night, for the first time in a long time we talked about our relationship without someone being in crisis mode. It was so nice to be honest and extend grace to one another and just feel like we were truly connecting.
My problem is the same as it's always been. Trust. I start to believe that I'm alone and it's all up to me to keep myself, my family, (honestly in the extreme parts of my twisted little mind) EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY healthy and whole. You can see where my thinking is flawed. But most of the time I don't even know I'm doing it until my husband is pissed off at me for being upset again and I'm depressed because my husband can't read my mind. I know that God's the only one that can change anything so really I'm just not trusting Him to do what He said He'd do. There's the challenge! Jesus, grant me the grace to trust you more.
My problem is the same as it's always been. Trust. I start to believe that I'm alone and it's all up to me to keep myself, my family, (honestly in the extreme parts of my twisted little mind) EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY healthy and whole. You can see where my thinking is flawed. But most of the time I don't even know I'm doing it until my husband is pissed off at me for being upset again and I'm depressed because my husband can't read my mind. I know that God's the only one that can change anything so really I'm just not trusting Him to do what He said He'd do. There's the challenge! Jesus, grant me the grace to trust you more.
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